April 29th, 2019

       California’s water drought is very similar to my sex life,  I have some good years with plenty of sex, then I can go a whole year or longer without sex. 2018  a drought year, no sex whatsoever, I don't even remember going on any dates last year. The last time I had sex was with “Billy” (from my other post)was approximately 2 weeks ago. Prior to meeting “Billy” the last time i had sex was 2017.  That year there was plenty of rain on my end. July 7th 2017 with “Zeke”...(don't ask how I remember the date). Four months Prior to “Zeke” was with “Jaime”, and lots of cunnilingus with “cerpin” who wasn't able maintain an erection  because he couldn't have sex with a condom.
         
       2014, 2015, and 2016 were very dry years!  I didn't have sex because of lack of trying on my end, I went on a few dates, kissed a few frogs, and It still did not happen. There was a boyfriend that I had for about 2 years which ended in 2013, by him ghosting me, that might of played a crucial role in my 3 year drought. He was extremely hard to get over, I specifically remember crying on a date shortly after my ex vanished (so embarrassing). Clearly, I wasn't ready to move on, but by the time I was, sex just wasn't in the cards for me.

       My problem is….well problem(s) are that I need to have casual sex. The problem with that is my overanalyzing won’t allow me to have casual sex. BUT the idea of casual sex automatically springs multiple questions in my head: Would if he has an STD? Do I go to his house? He’s not comin to mine! Would if he didn't shower? Would if his room is dirty? Does he have a condom? Can i even get turned on by a stranger? Mostly irrelevant questions. Casual sex or one night stands are about living in the moment, having no expectations. Sounds liberating! Perhaps one day i can find someone who is worth me throwing my inhibitions out the window In the meantime I have my faithful vibrator to get me through the drough.