Pity.

8 years ago I was hired as Assistant Manager at Sunglass Hut, and on my first day of work one of my associates Melissa and my Direct Manager was asking me questions about myself. One of the questions that popped up was, “do you have a boyfriend?” I said “nope I'm single” and her response was “Omg that totally sucks for you” and they both presumed to laugh. I have never felt so shitty, about being single in my life. I thought “This isn't 1824 where being single at 26 meant I was gonna be a spinster!”  Up to that point, I wore my “single ladies” status like a badge of honor, I had just got out of a relationship with my childs father and was starting to fall in love with ME all over again. Who the fuck is this 19 year old child to laugh at me or to joke at my relationship status!? For the first time in my 26 years of life it was at that moment I felt ashamed of being single. Not wanting to lose my job on the first day by screaming “FUCK YOU” in the middle of Del Amo mall, my response was simply “hmm not really” and I forced out a half hearted chuckle. She of course was joking, but for whatever reason, 8 long years later it stuck with me, the feeling fading over the years of course, but subconsciously, a small part of me feels as though I'm being judged for being single.

​ I always wondered if people in relationships pity those who are not in romantic relationships...My own sister who has been with her beau for 10 years, has told me she doesn’t miss being single when I tell her my dating horrors. Personally I feel as though the older I get the more at peace I become with the ideal of being single. YES I would love to have a companion to grow old with, but whatever's meant to be will be. I'm unsure if it has to do with the fact that i'm a mother and my baby will always be top priority, or its because i’m in my thirties and a bit more wiser or because the good quality of men are slim pickings in L.A. HELL, maybe all of the above! I've learned that once I was at peace with me being single, I now know what type of Man I want to be with. Take pity on me cause and won't settle for less.

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