My first date with “Henry” was great. We went to the rooftop bar at a hotel in Huntington Beach overlooking the ocean, had a few drinks, ate great food, went for a long walk and ended the night at the beach drinking with a bonfire. I wouldn't say it was a perfect date but it was up there in the top fifteen of great dates for me. The next date we met at a place of my choosing, a new boutique eating establishment that I have been twice before and fell in love with the food. Our most recent, and third date we ate at a new upcoming Ramen restaurant in Long Beach and went bar hopping to five amazing bars. These bars played amazing music from hip hop to eighties music and had reasonably priced alcohol. Upon completion or our third date something occurred to me; if our fling turns for the worse, Can I go back to those places?
I would love to go back to that rooftop bar, or back to that beach for a bonfire. I would love to visit those five bars we visited and eat at the Ramen place with the delicious spicy miso chicken ramen again. But those are HIS spots and if our little fling turns sour I do not want to see him at my new found boutique restaurant. I have every intention on eating at my place I introduced him to again in the near future, but I do not want to run into an ex there cause I'm going to be constantly looking over my shoulder looking for a man I went on a few dates with while I'm stuffing my face with poutine fries. In my mind once the man i've dated goes away they cease to exist anymore, and by running into him at my favorite place is a reminder of my or his failure of our dating relationship. I suppose it also depends on how the relationship ended, if I get “ghosted” and he shows up at my spot I introduced him to or vice versa do we pretend not to know one another? That is why I propose people should never go on pre-serious relationship dates to their favorite spots.
Maybe in the early stages of your dates you can potentially go somewhere generic or somewhere that can be associated with a wide variety of emotions such as: meet for coffee, the movies, go to a museum, go get ice cream, or walk along the path of some beautiful scenery. Just try and avoid the great stuff like: going to see your favorite band in concert, taking them somewhere you've always wanted to go, or in my case taking him to one of my top four favorite restaurants in Long Beach that he is now crazy about as well. Your favorite place should be associated with happiness and love not from a guy that you met up with two or three times and for whatever reason fizzled out. Sure, you have an interesting story to tell when you return to your favorite spot, but just think about it; you will always be reminded of that person that didn't work out everytime you go, and they may not be worth it. To this day I cannot bare to step into a certain Pho restaurant near me because of a first date nightmare I had a few years ago and the restaurant had fantastic Pho. So reserve those special places for the people who are worth it and who are with you for the long run, cause at least you will have memories of these places with people you care for or at least once cared for.